It is only typical for Asian families to care for family members even when they’re growing older or even after they get married. Usually it’s the wife that moves in with the husband’s family but it’s not a general rule – there never was. Singapore is not an exception to this family culture. What’s great about this setup is that the parents who are getting older and weaker with age do not have to live their last years alone and they get to have someone to take care of them as they become weak and senile. The young couple in turn gets to save money from rent as they are sharing space in the parents’ house. What’s not so great about this is most of the times the setup is a recipe for disaster – anyone here who have not watched Monsters In-Law yet?
Keep an Open Communication
Communication is always the key. Set the tone from the onset and let open communication be natural between you and your family members. It will be great if your In-Laws perceive you as a reasonable adult and someone whom they can talk to or even compromise with.
Sharing space with people means sharing responsibilities. It’s very annoying to live with someone who doesn’t lift a finger to do any household chores while you find yourself doing all the chores all the time. Don’t let this be a situation for you. This should be a general rule not just when you’re living in with your In-Laws but even among friends who share a place together.
Keep Your Privacy
Don’t forget to keep your intimacy alive as a couple by making sure that you follow a schedule of quality time together. You can arrange to go on weekend trips or simple bonding moments in your private room at the end of the day. Build a strong positive relationship with your In-Laws but don’t forget the reason why you’re in their place to begin with.
Always Choose Peace
Don’t expect everything to be perfect or go your way because it won’t. Be realistic enough to accept beforehand that there may be upsetting words said or disappointing moments that can happen. If it’s not worth it, you can just let it go. Remember that once you choose to make it your battle you might not have a chance to get it back to where you used to have a pleasant relationship. Don’t make it any more difficult for you. Choose peace.
You can’t help it when your In-Laws have their own opinion and tell you about how to run things. You better make sure that you already talked the arrangements out as a couple. What are the things that are important between you two that you need to handle on your own? How do you both want things to be? Your In-Laws are there to guide you and share their advice but you need to have a mind of your own as well.